#WordForYear2020 I briefly talked about picking a word for the year a few weeks ago in Artistry of Light Empowerment Lounge on FB, and then we had all the holidays, and our #12DaysofChristmas celebration giveaways. As the days have gone on, I have attempted to write post after post in the group to talk about the word for the year. Except it never quite felt right. That is until today, when I started writing this post. So here goes...
Last year, I went to a Women in Business Breakfast, and the intro activity was to claim our word for the year. I got there late (as is my usual) so I was the last to go. Which was good, because I had no clue as to what my word would be. I finally decided on Heal. I had these grand illusions, or delusions if you will that I would HEAL everyone with my photography. That was all the work I put into the word... thats it... it was a word I plucked out of the air and had assigned some sort of superpower.
My MeMa always said, "we make plans, God laughs". I have used that saying more times in my life then I could ever think to count. And that statement was the pure, unadulterated, definition of my 2019! I chose HEAL thinking it would boost my business and I would finally for the first time not freak out about money. HAHAHAHAHA, yeah that was the universes response to MY plan. LAUGHING! What MeMa never taught me, was that when God (or the Universe in my case) laughs at our plans its not because we are foolish in making the plan, but that we are not fully realizing the plan. I wanted to use healing as a means to boost my business, yet I was broken. That is what caused the universe to laugh at me... how the hell was this broken shadow of a woman going to HEAL other people, when she couldn't even take the time to heal herself?!?!?
So, the universe pulled a full stop and decided it was time for me to heal. I relived past traumas, both emotional and physical... complete with flash backs and panic attacks. I cried ALOT. I gained 30lbs because I just couldn't force my self to move most days and dammit an entire family size package of Oreos is a suitable dinner, followed up by a pint of Ben & Jerry's Ice cream for desert. I curled up in my bed, crying, listening to Patsy Cline music the day my paternal grandmothers house was officially sold. I fell into the proverbial hole of darkness and wished it would ALL end. Then, when I really thought I had been through enough, that I just couldn't take anymore. When I decided to give up, walk away... become yet another statistic... a friend jumped in and showed me the way out. (Just like that one story about the guy that falls into the hole) I went to Puerto Rico, you can read all about that here and here, and thats when I finally understood why my subconscious mind chose HEAL and why 2019 was so utterly craptastic. I needed to heal. Well now its 2020, and its time for a new word. so what is this years word you ask?
I am ready for all the conscious and subconscious implications that this word will bring. I will RISE to every occasional truly authentic to myself and my art. Are you ready to declare your word for the year and embrace all that comes with it? Here are a few links to help you if you are stuck on finding a word. But usually it will come pretty easily once you decide that you want a word. 5 tips for Choosing a Word Pick Your Word